I’m in that half-reclined position that makes you feel slightly on edge anyway when I hear a couple of lines that I did not expect when I got up this morning.

“Could you hand me some Vaseline?” Spoken on my right slightly behind my back.

“Now, just try to relax and breathe”.

“And if you could put your hand on the tube, please”.

Uh… okay. Heh.

Well, it might just be the context, but you can’t really grin and offer up sailor jokes when you’ve got three pieces of equipment and two sets of hands in your mouth.

I went to the dentist. I can’t help it if it sounds like a cheesy porno, those were my dentists exact words. He’s a great guy, but not so much with the subtext there, you know?

Anyway – what struck me was the rapid development of dental technology. I had a complete sadist for a dentist when I was a little kid, like right out of The Little Shop of Horrors. He didn’t like kids at all. Weird profession to chose, but there you go.

These days, instead of the old fashioned drill that sounded like something you’d use to break up the black top, you get a pair of safety goggles when you go to the dentist. Which is all kinds of great and amusing ‘cause there’s some serious splatter when they go to work on you. And afterwards you get to rinse and spit and then my dentist gently dabbed my face with a wet paper towel.

Oh, there is just no way I can avoid the sailor jokes running rampant in my head at that point, but I contain them as best I can. You don’t want things to get awkward with a guy that basically has you at his mercy and you don’t want him to be thinking too much about that the next time you come for your check-up.

Still. “put your hand on the tube” is pretty much an obvious led-up to “as the sailor said to the girl”.

Or, maybe that’s just me?

ROL